glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
