using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
