i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
