I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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