the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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