Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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