$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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