PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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