Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
