All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
