so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
