whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
