i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
