I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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