you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
