she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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