NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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