jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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