STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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