I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
