oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
