i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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