SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
