She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your penis caused this!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
