I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
