lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
