I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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