Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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