My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
