he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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