She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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