it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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