So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
