i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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