Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
