is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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