She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
