things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
