would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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