take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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