was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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