i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
