I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
