Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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