six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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