So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
