if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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