You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
be right there i have to get my cape
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
