oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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