Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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