Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
